Teenagers face resistance in today’s society due to expectations from parents and the education system. Shall we allow teens to be themselves and pursue their passions, rather than forcing them into predetermined paths? Shall we repeat our patterns and suffering that we might had gone through? Maybe it’s a time for a more creative and supportive approach to raising children, rather than solely focusing on success according to societal standards? Can we persuade ourselves to let them be how they are free from our experiences and expectations?
Evolution and mental growth in teenagers.
At the end of the school year, I saw some works my daughter and son had created over the year. One was from the perspective of a nine-year-old girl, and the other from a 16-year-old boy. The difference was clear. Of course, there is always room for growth and learning more complex things. However, the progress made is massive. It shows the real evolution and also our mental growth as individuals. Our way of being along the years looks shifting from full creativity and no limits to a more square approach of getting minimum things done in a methodical way. From one perspective it is evolution. From the other however it is putting kids who are born with no limits and open mind, into the rigid chain of logical thinking that society expects from them. Can that be called evolution?
All seems to be be correct, however when kids get to be teenage, they still remember the times of mental freedom during childhood. At the same time they were stressed already with expectations from the system and society, which basically make no sense to them. Why being born free to be as they are, they shall transform into the machines under direction of mental rules? This is where teenage resistance gets born, as kids do not want to wear the cage of thinking that we are trying to put on them in the name of their well being and shiny future. They do not buy it as they still remember being who they really are and they know that it make no sense.
Struggle to balance creativity and tradition in raising children.
Why do we force our children to be someone who can take care of the family, earn money, and pursue professions that may eventually make them unhappy and sick? What’s the purpose of this resistance that we want to put them into? Of course, some basics are required, but why do we put them into frames that don’t work? Why we can’t ask them to preserve their creativity and uniqueness while supporting their evolution towards a future that could be unknown? Instead of using the perspective of masculine energy to have all planned, can we use more creative feminine power to support the growth of our children towards a future that is not solely based on money? As parents, we should expect them to not repeat our mistakes and be something better however often find ourselves in the same trap selling them stories that did not work for us making us miserable.
Allowing children to grow and learn without undue pressure, while teaching them to navigate the system and use its tools effectively.
At the end of the day, it’s about finding balance and not overloading them with expectations. Is there a way that we can relax the rules of this world? Let’s allow kids to be kids. Let’s allow them to grow without persuading them to think in a way that may not be as beautiful as we think. Let’s allow them to study what they want and not what we think should work for them. If they don’t connect with what they’re doing, they will eventually get sick. Fulfilling the wishes of their parents or the system is not the answer. Let them be and then they will make it on their own, and the amount of resistance will be lower.
Of course, there are things they need to learn, but it should be more about something useful, rather than being pushed to something that has been used for generation and never challenged or changed. They need to be able to set things in the system and play with it. They should be able to use the environment, tools, rules, and laws in order to have a better life and not be a part of the system that doesn’t work.
Reflection on the masks we wear and their impact on our lives.
Having growing kids, could be also an opportunity for reflection for ever parent. Have you recently stopped and thought about what you’re doing with your life? Are you happy? Fulfilled? Connected? Or are you miserable? Are you just going through the motions of what you’ve created, thinking that this is just how life is supposed to be? Or are you the creator of your own life, doing what you like and what makes you happy?
Do you allow yourself to do things you enjoy, or do you feel like you have to do everything for others to fulfil your duties to family, pay bills and meet other responsibilities? Are you accepting your situation, or are you struggling because of the way you think things should be (the way you were talked and shown it should be) does not work for you?
Maybe it’s time to review what you’ve created and see if it’s working for you or not. Perhaps what you’ve created is related to the mask you’ve put on yourself during your upbringing, influenced by your parents, society, and environment. Are you wearing a mask that you don’t want? Maybe it’s time to try to see how your life would be if you were able to be who you really are.
Having this reviewed you can then ask yourself if you wish to stress the teenage resistance pushing your kids into should and would, or letting them to be, while providing support and helping hand when they fail during their lesson of life.
